A Viro-LIE-gist’s Ode

Pseudoscientists Method

Of

Deception

In a lab of shadows, under dim light’s crest,

A scientist toils with a fraudulent test.

With a wink and a nod, he amplifies RNA ‘strains’,

Nucleotide sequences, free from provenance’s chains.

"Behold!" he cries, "A virus here lies!"

From non-specific data, the truth he denies.

With a magician’s flair, he takes a grand swab,

From an ‘infected’ soul, in a theatrical job.

He places the sample in cultures diverse,

A genetic soup mixed to make things perverse.

But nothing occurs in this merry charade,

So, he starves and poisons, in a grim masquerade.

The cells, once healthy, now wither and die,

He laughs with glee, and points to the sky.

"The cytopathic effects, a virus has wrought!"

But in truth, it’s antibiotics that cell death brought.

Circular reasoning, his faithful old friend,

Declares a virus at this farcical end.

No controls, no variables to compare,

Why seek the truth, when deception pays ‘fair’?

He skips the steps that real science holds dear,

In this farce of research, true findings disappear.

A dance with no balance, a play with no plot,

He crafts his own story, where facts matter not.

The whitecoats run algorithms, in a digital charade,

On a biological soup, a genetically messy parade.

Genomes stitched in a computing grand scheme,

Feather in the cap, for the circular reasoning team.

Through algorithmic smoke, no microbe’s found true,

A mythical mirage, from start to end view.

Onward he presses, with metals so heavy,

Stains cells in a process both crude and unsteady.

Electron microscopy, the grand final act,

He snaps fuzzy pictures, his ‘evidence’ racked.

With arrows he points, and loudly declares,

"A virus! A virus!" but reality glares.

So, here we conclude, this tale of deceit,

From fraudulent tests and fallacies replete.

Conjured and crafted by pseudoscience’s hand,

In shadows you dance, where falsehoods expand.

An ode to the folly, a tribute to lies,

In viro-LIE-gy’s realm,

where truth only dies.